Has your home become a battleground when it comes to doing chores? Does the mere mention of the five-letter dirty word evoke groans and grunts from your children? Do you find the room quickly empties when it’s time to help sort the laundry or clear the table?

Maybe your family has fine tuned the chore dilemma that many parents face and you have found a system that works. Either way, I have composed some helpful tips to strengthen your resolve with training your children to be obedient with their chores.

The benefits of chores: Although there are few children that see the upside of chores, there are numerous benefits of having a regular chore routine for your child. Children will not only learn independence, but will also feel a sense of reward by helping others. They will learn to respect hard work, and will obtain invaluable life experience such as time management and organizational skills. They may also be less likely to dirty a room if they will be the one cleaning it up.

Getting started: At every age, it is important that children understand they have a responsibility to help maintain their home and they must share the workload with other family members.

The most beneficial way to teach your children to be cooperative when it comes to chores is to start when they are young. A child as young as eighteen months old can start learning to help. Simple things such as throwing away their used wet wipe, picking up the Cheerios they threw all over the floor, or wiping their own highchair tray are good places to start. The most important thing to remember is consistency. You want these things to become a habit and habits will only be formed by repetition.

responsibility charts: The use of a chore or responsibility chart can be a valuable tool by helping you keep track of a child’s progress as well as allowing the child to see what he has accomplished. You and your children can make your own together using inexpensive poster board or simply using a calendar page. Marking progress for each chore completed in a day, week and month can be done using simple check marks or decorative stickers.

Adding more complex chores: As a child grows, tasks that are more complex may be added. By the ages of 4 or 5 children are more than ready to try bigger tasks on their own. Chores such as making their own bed, feeding pets, helping prepare snacks or emptying wastebaskets are just a few appropriate chores for this age group.

As a child grows, so should the scope of their chores. By the age of 12, most children who have been regularly doing chores are very capable of doing such things as helping to look after a younger sibling, vacuuming, sweeping floors or preparing a meal. Since children mature at different rates, this is dependent upon the maturity level of the individual child.

Teach them how: Even though your children may have watched you complete a job numerous times, don’t assume they know how. Before assigning a chore, be sure the child is physically able to complete the task. Then proceed to teach task in simple digestible steps, with you working side by side to guide them. It is also best to teach one chore at a time, so the child has a chance to master one job before adding another. It is important to remember, training your children to do chores completely and efficiently takes time and patience.

To reward or not: Rewarding children monetarily for doing chores is not beneficial. Chores and allowance should always be kept separate. Paying children to do what is expected of them will not teach them responsibility, and they will begin to expect a reward any time they are asked to help.

A more valuable lesson is being learned when children realize they are part of a family and families help one another without being rewarded. The best reward you can give is praise and encouragement. When children understand the outcome of their helpfulness, they will feel a sense of accomplishment and that is reward enough.

It may be a good idea to keep an ongoing list of paying jobs, which are not part of their regular chore routine. When all of their assigned chores are completed, they have the opportunity to take on the paying jobs. By doing this children will still learn the value of earning money without sacrificing the lesson in family responsibility.

Non-compliance: There are inevitably some children that are going to buck the system.They may continuously procrastinate when asked to do their chores, complete only part of the task or not perform them to the standard you have set forth. Don’t nag. Expect obedience and let the consequences be known from the start.

One way to help your procrastinator is to buy a timer and set it. This takes the responsibility from you and puts it with the child where it belongs. If the tasks are not completed or half-done when the timer goes off, the child will be well aware of the consequences previously discussed.

Another helpful tip to curb children who leave numerous things about is a “Jail and Bail” box. This consists of a large box used to collect items that have not been picked up. Once the items are put into the box, the child must pay a nominal fee, or if you prefer, perform another chore, to get the items out of jail. This concept works great and can greatly reduce your clutter as well as providing a beneficial consequence when used consistently.

Mistakes to avoid:

• Don’t redo the chore if it is not up to your standards. You may discourage your child from trying to do his best if he thinks his efforts are not good enough.
• It may seem easier to do it yourself, but remember your ultimate goal is not to get the house clean but teach your children valuable lessons that they will not learn if not given the chance.
• Avoid assigning a chore based on gender. Just one of the many problems marriages face today, are men that refuse to assist their wives by picking up their own messes. This can be blamed on every mother who never made her son lift a finger in the house because she felt it was a woman’s work. Keep in mind; you may be contributing to a future happy marriage. The same standards should apply to girls. They need to know they are capable of completing any job.
• Avoid unfairness. Make sure you are even-handed when assigning chores between siblings. Rotate the chores often so everyone will get their fair share of each task.
• Avoid an erratic chore schedule. Set a specific time for chores and stick to it. If a child knows that everyday before he starts his schoolwork, he must complete his chores, it will soon become routine.
• If possible, avoid letting things pile up. It will be much easier on you and your child if you schedule a 10-minute pick-up a few times each day. You could even implement the use of a timer. When the time comes for a more thorough cleaning, it will not seem so overwhelming.

Give praise: Everyone likes to be told when a job is well done. Often, children cannot wait to offer assistance when they know it is helpful to mom or dad. Your children will thrive on the encouragement you send their way. And just think, the grunts and groans may soon be a thing of the past and hopefully there will be a cease fire on the battleground!

Hallie Stevenson is a homeschooling, work at home, single mother of four children and the owner of Blue Thistle Books, a bookstore that specializes in homeschool curriculum and educational materials for home educators. She is also the editor of Comforts of Home, a newsletter to encourage and support homeschooling families. You can find more information at http://www.bluethistlehomeschool.com, or at http://www.bluethistlehomeschool.com/blog

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Responsibility Chart

What is your goal as a parent?

One thing that is always in the back of my mind is that I want my kids to grow up to be responsible adults. The big question is : How do you raise children so they will become responsible adults?

The answer is by starting when they are young. Here are a few ideas to consider.

One of the biggest issues parents have getting their kids to do their chores is having to remind them. Parents will often spend more time reminding kids of their chores than it takes to actually do the chore. For very young kids, this really is to be expected. A preschooler will require much more reminding and encouraging than a third grader, although some reminding and encouraging will always be needed for any child, even teens.

Having a chore responsibility chart for your kids can make things easier for you and them. A chore list with their daily and weekly chores is a helpful way to set their goals in front of them and check them off as they are accomplished. It also places more of the responsibility in the hands of the child, as the chore list becomes a separate entity from the parent. The parent merely has to say, “Check your chore chart.” Reminding them becomes less of a daily chore for you, and your child becomes more empowered with their responsibilities.

There are chore charts for preschoolers who may still be learning to read, with pictures to help them identify the chores on the list. A chore chart for young kids may include basic tasks that need to become daily habits, like brushing their teeth and making the bed. A variety of printable chore charts can be found online that would be age appropriate for your kids.

Take some time to consider ways you can encourage your children to be more responsible. What are your thoughts?

Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts with others.